Honesty Page 2

  “Who gave you that?” he asked.

  Is he teasing me? Alena wondered. But when she looked into his eyes she didn't see any warmth there. All she saw was annoyance.

  “Alena, who gave it to you?” he asked again.

  Alena grabbed the rose and pulled it off the top of the desk. Her cheeks were hot with embarrassment as she stared down at her desk.

  “No one, I just found it,” she cleared her throat to hide the disappointment in her voice. When she heard the heavy thump of a book bag being dropped to the floor behind her, she glanced over her shoulder to see Shawn sit down behind her. He met her eyes, and opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but the teacher began to speak before he could.

  Alena turned back to face forward as quickly as she could. She was mortified by how close she had come to accusing Justin of leaving her the rose. He probably would have laughed at her.

  “For this week's assignment we're going to try something a little different,” the teacher was saying as she turned to face the classroom. Ms. Harper was a young teacher and she had a reputation for coming up with unique and interesting assignments. “Since we will be discussing poetry this semester, I want you each to have the experience of going through the writing process. It is really simple to write a poem for yourself, but it is a bit more difficult when someone else gives you the subject matter. So I am going to put you into pairs, and have each of you write a poem for the other,” she paused a moment and swept her gaze over all of the students. “Your partner will give you a few words, or a phrase, and you will write a poem based on that information.”

  Alena was not in the mood to be creative. She was not in the mood to do anything but crawl back into bed and forget that the school year had ever started. As Ms. Harper began calling out the partners she hoped that she would not be paired with Justin. She was sure he would want the subject to be Kristina and Alena could not imagine a harder poem for her to write.

  “Alena, you can work with Shawn,” Ms. Harper said as she walked past her and then continued to assign the rest of the partners. Alena held back a gasp as she heard the teacher's words. She had never even thought about the possibility that she would be forced to work with Shawn. After what she had said to him the day before, after what he had said to her, it would not be easy to work together. She nervously glanced over her shoulder to find Shawn staring hard at the open notebook in front of him. He did not look up at her. Alena sighed as she slumped down in her desk. When her gaze wandered over to Justin, she found him staring at her.

  In the hall after class Justin caught up with her. “Hey why don't you ask Ms. Harper to change your partner?” he suggested.

  “Huh, why?” Alena asked, still annoyed that he had not been the one to give her the flower. She didn't even really care who did, as Justin was the only boy in school she wanted a flower from.

  “You shouldn't have to work with that guy,” Justin insisted as they paused beside Alena's locker.

  “Why do you care?” Alena suddenly asked. She was getting weary of the game Justin seemed to be playing.

  “I care about you Alena,” Justin said quietly and met her eyes. When he looked into her eyes, Alena no longer heard the buzz or chaos of the busy hallway. All she heard was the pounding of her heart.

  “Really?” she asked breathlessly. Then remembering the kiss he had shared with Kristina the day before, she forced herself to look away.

  “I do,” Justin insisted. “We spent the whole summer hanging out, now you act like I don't even matter,” he protested as she opened her locker. Alena stared at the white rose that was on the shelf of her locker. It matched the one she had received that morning perfectly. Maybe it had been Justin after all. Alena turned back to face him. She looked at him for a long moment and then suddenly leaned up and touched her lips to his. Justin was startled by the kiss and drew back away from him.

  “Oh Alena,” he frowned as he shook his head. “What are you doing? You know I'm with Kristina.”

  Alena felt tears threatening the backs of her eyes as she realized what a big mistake she had made.

  “But I thought,” Alena whispered.

  “I'm your friend,” Justin said firmly. “I waited all summer for you to ask me for more, but you didn't. Kristina did.”

  Alena's lips parted slightly with shock. Not only had he just rejected her, but now he was claiming that it was her fault for not pursuing him.

  “I'm asking you now,” Alena murmured, despite the fact that her cheeks were on fire.

  “It's too late,” Justin said sternly. “I'm with Kristina, and you're going to have to accept that.”

  He started to turn away, and then looked back. “When I get bored with her, you'll be the first on my list.”

  Alena was so stunned by his words that she could not even respond. First on his list? She thought to herself. The arrogant bastard has a list? She felt her heart sink as she realized that Justin had never been the person she thought he was. The whole summer when she thought he was enjoying spending time with her, he had just been waiting for her to ask him for more. All he had to do was kiss her, and he knew that, she was sure he knew that, but he had strung her along because his ego needed her to ask. As she watched him walk away she wished she had never even met him.

  “Are you okay?” Shawn asked from a few steps behind her. Alena was too embarrassed to turn around and look at him. She wondered how much he had seen. When she refused to answer him, he stepped a little closer to her. “Alena listen,” he spoke softly. “I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn't mean it,” he leaned his shoulder against the locker beside her as she stared hard at the floor. “You deserve everything you could ever dream of.”

  Alena looked up at him, drawn by the warmth of his words. When she met his eyes she was her heart fluttered just as it had the night before when his image floated into her mind.

  “Why would you say that?” she asked feeling as if she was the most pathetic person on the face of the Earth.

  “Because it's true Alena, you should never let anyone treat you differently,” Shawn said quietly.

  Alena bit into her bottom lip and stared up at him with confusion. She had never had a guy speak so openly with her, compliment her so freely.

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked as she recalled what she had said about him.

  Shawn reached into the locker beside her, and pulled out the white rose he had left there for her.

  “I know you're not interested,” he said carefully. “But you should know that I am.”

  He handed her the rose, which she accepted wordlessly and then walked off down the hall. Alena could only stare after him.

  Project Partners

  When Alena arrived at home that afternoon she closed herself off in her room. She was heartbroken over Justin, and confused about Shawn. She had just sat down on the edge of her bed when her cell phone vibrated indicating that she had a text. She picked it up to see that it was from Justin and looked down at the words printed across the screen.

  “Meet me at the football field, ten pm,” it said. She stared at the words for a long moment and then tossed her phone down on her bed. She lay back across it and groaned. It was frustrating enough that Justin had turned her down earlier, but now he wanted a secret late night meeting? If she became any more confused she was sure that she would lose her mind.

  “Alena?” her mother called from outside her bedroom door. “Someone's here to see you.”

  Alena sat up on her bed and wondered who it might be. She opened the door to find Shawn standing beside her mother.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked with surprise. Shawn blushed at her words. “Uh, our project?” he reminded her. Alena had forgotten all about the poetry assignment.

  “Oh right,” Alena mumbled. She stepped back and opened the door all the way for him. “I'm sorry I forgot,” she added. Shawn sat down in the computer chair in front of her desk and avoided looking directly at her.

  “
We can make this quick,” he promised in a distant tone.

  Alena pulled out her notebook and sat down on the edge of her bed. “I don't even know how to write poetry,” she sighed.

  “Everyone knows how to write poetry,” Shawn replied and pulled out his own notebook.

  “Do you?” she asked curiously. She had noticed how he was always scribbling in his notebook. Shawn shifted in the chair until he was facing her.

  “Yeah, I do,” he said openly. “I find it's easier to express myself on paper,” he shrugged, expecting Alena to find that to be a little strange.

  “I wish I could do that,” she frowned as she looked down at the blank page in her notebook. “Feelings get so jumbled up inside, it's hard to sort them out.”

  Shawn rolled a little closer to her in the chair and tapped the blank paper.

  “Just write them down,” he suggested. His closeness left Alena feeling a little uncomfortable. She looked up at him shyly.

  “What if I don't know how to do that?” she asked in a whisper. His deep green eyes locked to hers and his voice grew heavier with emotion as he spoke.

  “You do, you're just afraid to.”

  Alena shook her head a little but she did not look away from him. “I'm not afraid of anything,” she said defensively. Shawn raised one blonde brow and tried to suppress a smirk as he continued to hold her gaze.

  “Nothing but being honest with yourself, hm?”

  Alena's eyes narrowed, her lashes tightening until her light blue eyes were shadowed by them.

  “Why do you act like that?” she demanded in an irritated tone.

  “Do what?” he asked, his voice still quiet.

  “Act like you know me,” Alena replied, her heartbeat speeding up as she studied the shift in his expression. His lips drew tight for a moment, his eyes flicked away for just a second, before he looked back at her.

  “Don't I?” he asked. With only the length of the blank notebook between them, neither had realized how they had both leaned slowly forward to cross the distance.

  “You don't know anything about me,” Alena insisted, her heart racing even faster.

  “I know you're kind, I know you don't like to hurt others, and I know you hide how creative you are, because you don't want others to think that you're weird,” he said all in one breath. Alena parted her lips to protest, but he continued before she could. “I know that you dream about the future, and take your grades seriously, and that you don't get caught up in all the drama that most of the girls do. I know,” he canted his head slightly to the side as his green eyes continued to stroke over hers. “that you want more than some little football player pretending to think you're great just so that he can get in your-”

  “Shawn!” she said sharply, her cheeks growing red with fury and embarrassment.

  “What?” he asked as he rolled back slightly in his chair. “Tell me I'm wrong,” he dared her.

  Alena could not bring herself to speak. Everything he had said was true, even the part about Justin. It was the reason she had waited so long to try to kiss him. She wanted to be sure that he really liked her, and that he wasn't just looking for a summer fling.

  “And it didn't take me all summer to know all that about you,” Shawn pointed out.

  Alena felt a little exposed as she stared down at the blank sheet of notebook paper. She had never had someone sum her up so easily.

  “How do you know all of that?” she asked shyly.

  “Because Alena,” he sat forward in the chair again, but still left enough space between them that she would be comfortable. “I wanted to know. I paid attention. I thought you were worth, getting to know,” he said firmly.

  Alena took his words to heart. He was illustrating how Justin had ample opportunity to actually get to know her, but he hadn't bothered.

  “And now?” she asked hesitantly. “Now that you know so much, was I worth getting to know?”

  Shawn was silent as he swept his gaze across her features. He could see how uncertain she was. He had always found it interesting that she could be so beautiful and not even realize it.

  “Does it matter?” he asked as he rolled the chair back a few more inches.

  “What do you mean?” she asked as she looked over at him.

  “I mean, does it matter what I think? All that matters is what Justin thinks, right?” he smirked a little.

  Alena pursed her lips and looked back down at the notebook in her lap. “Let's just get this done,” she mumbled.

  “Fine,” Shawn shrugged and sat back in the chair. “My words for you are, Alena, and honesty.”

  “What?” Alena looked up sharply. “I can't write a poem about myself.”

  “Why not?” he asked. “Are you afraid to tell the truth about who you are?” his eyes lingered on hers.

  “You know you don't know as much as you think,” she snapped. “Maybe your words should be arrogant player.”

  Shawn's eyes widened slightly at her words. When he spoke his voice had lost all of its laid back tone.

  “Is that what you think I'm doing here?” he asked. “Playing a game with you?”

  Alena realized she might have crossed a line when she saw the anger flash through his eyes. He stood up and walked across the room until he was right in front of where she sat on the bed. As she looked up at him, he stared down at her, his jaw rippling with frustration. “I mean what I say,” he said firmly. Then he leaned down just enough to catch her upturned lips in a subtle, soft kiss.

  Alena did not pull away. She was so shocked she did not know how to react. But her lips decided for her, and responded to the kiss with equal tenderness. When he pulled away from her, his expression had softened and all of the anger had disappeared from his eyes.

  “That's honesty,” he whispered as he studied her. “I may not be what you think you should want Alena, but that can't change how you really feel.”

  Alena stared after him as he picked up his book bag and headed out the door. Once Alena was alone she reached up and lightly touched her lips. The memory of his caress was enough to make her heart race. She had never even imagined kissing him, and yet once it had happened, she could not stop thinking about it. Her phone buzzed to life on the bed next to her. She picked it up and looked down at the new message.

  “Don't forget 10pm,” Justin had texted her.

  The Football Field

  That night Alena was pacing back and forth in her bedroom. It was nine forty five and she had to decide if she was going to the football field or not. Her encounter with Shawn had been strange, and intense, and wonderful, but it was also very confusing. As much as he insisted that she was lying to herself, she was sure she was in love with Justin. It didn't matter how he treated her, as long as she could be with him. Shawn was sweet, and cute in his own way, but he was not Justin. Now Justin wanted to have a secret meeting with her, and she was sure it was because he planned to break up with Kristina. Even though she could not stop thinking about Shawn, she decided that she could not skip out on Justin. She had to know what he wanted to talk to her about. Besides, Shawn might have been wrong. Maybe Justin really did care about her. Maybe he had gotten to know her and she just hadn't noticed. She put on her jacket and slipped out the back door. As she walked to the football field she noticed how bright the stars were in the sky. It was the perfect night for romance. She was certain that Justin would declare his love for her, and the next day they would walk into school holding hands. The thought of it put a little bounce in her step. She pushed any thought of Shawn right out of her mind. He does not know everything, she reminded herself. When she arrived at the football field it was deserted. Alena glanced at her watch. Nine fifty-five so she was a little early, she shrugged. She sat down on the bottom bleacher and gazed up at the stars above her.

  “Alena,” Justin said a moment later as he walked up to her.

  “Justin,” she smiled brightly as she met his eyes. “Why did you want to meet me?” He looked so handsome with the moonlight pl
aying off of his light brown hair.

  “I think you know,” he shrugged as he sat down beside her.

  “Do I?” she asked, feeling giddy with anticipation. In her mind she imagined he was about to tell her how wrong he had been, and that Kristina was the last person he wanted to be with.

  “Come on, let's not play games about it,” Justin said sternly. “This is 2013, we don't have to pretend like we don't have feelings for each other.”

  Okay, not exactly romantic, but still good, Alena thought to herself. “I do have feelings for you,” she admitted, her eyes shining as she smiled at him.

  “Right, you made that pretty clear,” he smirked. He reached up and brushed a strand of her dark hair back from her face. He tucked it behind her ear and let his fingertips trail over the curve of her cheek.